Who Knew...?
Published Sunday, April 29, 2007 by ShaRAi.
Who knew that living life could be so hard?
We all knew, we all knew that there would be problems that we didn't know how to solve.
So many aspirations and so little time to do it in.
To travel and to wed and to copulate with someone we so awesomely connected with.
There are too many expectations in our lifetime - of what and who we should be. For the things we should focus on and strive for. Our accomplishments. Our failures.
The expectations of those people who stand above us and judge us. Not only do they stand above us, they stand among us. That in itself is one of the hardest things to know.
We have our own expectations of what we want to be and what we have always dreamed to be. We dream of some of the most amazing adventures and experiences. There is too much realisation and let downs in this world to allow us to dream and strive for the things we wish to accomplish. When do we come to the point where we overcome these obstacles or let them drown us?
Why are there rules and why are there so many expectations of what life was meant to be and what it should be.
When does the time come for us to let go of everything and just run with it. The question comes to be - where do we run. What direction do we go? How fast? How slow?
Every answer we have in life is followed by another question and we will never escape it.
Its the ideal of those who planned life for us.
To travel and explore ourselves and everything that surrounds us.
The people and the places and i suppose in the end it helps us find who we are and what we want.
Truth is... no matter how sure we can be, we will never feel comfortable with our choices of who we are and where we are going and we will always want to run in every direction possible at once.
That Moment...
Published Sunday, April 22, 2007 by ShaRAi.
Ever caught that sparkle in someones eyes that just makes you wonder?
You catch eyes with someone and you can't look away because you're so intrigued... that sparkle just pulls you in and you feel nothing else in the world can ever consume you. A bite of the lip as you cheekily smile at them, wanting them just to look again so you can catch a glimpse of that sparkle. A raise of the eyebrow as you think so many thoughts about them, and you can't help but wonder what it would be like. The experience of just kissing them and having no concerns for anything that surrounds you. When you do kiss them...
Everything stops.
And from that moment, you know its forever.
Crashing Down Around Us
Published Wednesday, April 11, 2007 by ShaRAi.
I hate it when if feels like the world begins to fall down.
Like there is no hope for our dreams and what we would like to achieve. It's just all so overwhelming...
So many things can bring us down and most of the time we have the strength to get up again.
But when it all happens at once - it brings us down hard.
We sink into a black hole of nothingness and nothing can seem to bring an sign of light.
A smile will create a flicker, but that overwhelming feeling of hopelessness consumes.
Our body tells us we can't cope and it makes the feeling that much worse.
We are thrown out of every norm we could have possibly known.
Arms in the air, wanting nothing else other than to strangle that has this power over us.
Letting go is one of the hardest things, and taking that first step is difficult. We trip too many times and feel neglectant to try again. When does it begin to fade and when can these situations ever improve?
Whenever we travel so far we can't help but be haunted by those things that we left behind.
At these times we feel the world crash down around us.
Birthday Blessings
Published Thursday, April 5, 2007 by ShaRAi.
Today is a day when we feel nothing else but sorrow.
We know there is something else we would prefer to be doing that living our daily lives, and thats be with someone and be so close with them - but its impossible to because they are too far away to catch.
Birthdays are supposed to be special and sacred moments, i cherish everything i ever had with this boy. I shed so many tears knowing i couldn't say the most special things that needed to be said.
So i say it now, Happy Birthday Gorgeous, you will forever be in my heart Christopher - ALWAYS
To Not Know Is To Never Explain
Published Tuesday, April 3, 2007 by ShaRAi.
We tell ourselves things we already know aren't true.
We create separate realities to save ourselves from crushing our emotions, a buffer from the harsh words that can be said.
When we tell ourselves that situations don't exist, we lift a burden off of our shoulders.
Fooling ourselves is something we do best. If we don't know, they we don't ever have to explain it to ourselves - or to justify it to anyone else.
We feel burden free and we feel capable of tackling the issues we want to tackle. Until those moments that we know we can't forget about anymore resurface. Just to make our lives feel that touch more unpredictable and complicated. We want to forget about letting people go, but we can never stop thinking about them.
We crave them and we crave some of the most desired things imaginable. It helps our suffering if we forget. And if we forget, theres no need to explain to ourselves why there ever was a problem in the first place.
